emBODYing expectations

DISCLAIMER: I've always, ALWAYS struggled with my body image to the point of correlating my confidence, happiness and success in life with how 'thin' or small I looked and felt. As if that wasn't damaging enough, I would compare myself to how others looked- others whom I noticed were always happy, cheerful and easygoing - who also happened to be THIN. I vividly remember being in grade 8 and the beginning of high school, observing all the girls who could sit at their desks without having stomach rolls... rereading that, I realize how absolutely ridiculous that sounds. STOMACH ROLLS?! EVERYONE HAS THEM FOR GDS SAKES! UNLESS YOU'RE AT 10% BODY FAT! 😨

But, at that young and impressionable age, it wasn't ridiculous. I was jealous. I didn't know better... I always wondered, how come when I sat, I had these rolls? I would fantasize about how much better I might feel to have a 'flat' stomach that wouldn't spill over. Maybe I'd be happier... or have more friends? One thing that I don't remember having (as it is today), was the constant bombardment of social media in my face, 24/7... which brings me to this blog post...

**** side note: It would be remiss of me not to mention that I was raised in a Jewish, Modern Orthodox home, went to an all girls Jewish private school for 14 years and was quite sheltered, for most of my upbringing. < In retrospect, I am quite grateful for that. However, it came with a 'natural' order of things, concealing issues relating to social arrangements and our conventional expectations of them.

... 'They' say to write what you know about... and following the tremendous feedback I got from my blog last week (which you can read here) I will continue being unapologetically authentic with a topic that I know many women (and men) can relate to - - societal pressure(s) of needing permission to be an authentic version of yourself... of fitting into a mold if you wish... a neatly packed, perfectly square box of pre-existing expectations set out by the standards (which I think have been) set by social media/celebrities/Hollywood/gendered conditioning etc...

We have no longer been granted the freedom to define our own values. Instead, we've become conditioned to accept the values that have been 'handed' to us by Instagram fitness models, actors/actresses, billboards, magazines, fashion models etc... AND some of the scheming companies of the health and fitness industry whose main priority is to take your money without having your best interests at heart.

Society has taken the reigns in establishing what makes you you. For example, being 'feminine' is apparently mutually exclusive from also being physically powerful. A woman who wants to pursue being super strong in the gym can not simultaneously also be a 'girly girl' who cares about her nail polish getting ruined or her lipstick or her fashion choices outside the gym. The stigma is still out there, at least it is still quite prevalent in the Middle East, but just because a woman has a larger body type, or aspires in building a body with muscles, it doesn't make her less feminine. As the screwed up image remains here: a woman having muscles will make her like a man.

It seems like a no-brainer, but we're all entitled, allowed and deserving of having and acting with our bodies as we see fit. Fxck the expectations. We should be operating from a place of our OWN value system- not ones handed to us... and before we take action towards changing it, for whatever reason, we should ask ourselves if it's out of our own volition or out of societal conditioning.

Here are some other 'body expectations' that society has deemed acceptable/normal:

>> Before being able to concern ourselves with developing our inner strength/confidence, the physical appearance of our body is first priority.

>> What others think of our body image precedes that of our own and we should always be mindful of other opinions before making our own decision

>> If we don't look like we have our 'shit together' ALL THE TIME then automatically our entire life is a mess

>> Our bodies belong to the public; and it is acceptable for it to be picked apart, piece by piece, assessed, criticized or ridiculed

So here's what I say:

FXCK THE SYSTEM! We should emBODY our body, as we see fit, based on our own beliefs and values - whether or not that coincides with religion, geography, culture and other variables, it is still up to us to be present in making our choices. Forget the societal expectations.

When making a choice, on what to wear, how to train your body, how to leave your house, whether to wear make up - it should be done with the complete and honest expression of yourself, that you deserve. Once the expectations have been dismantled and the guidelines for living YOUR best life have been established, a tremendous freedom and honest sense of your self will allow you to live your life as you please.